Had a great weekend with my brother and cousins' families camping. Kind of nervous about the little ones but everyone had a great time. The kids slept through the nite, probably better than the adults. Funny had little bodies can sleep just about any where. Great weather for camping. Hot dogs and smores over the campfire and we were able to spend the day on the beach by the lake going swimming and playing bean bag toss. Could not have been a better camping weekend.
Lupron Day 6 - So far so good. I haven't had any major side effects. I have had a few anxious/out of it episodes, but it hasn't been that bad. As long as I get good sleep, I feel fine. I have had a few cramps in my legs almost felt like they do before I get my period, but they went away. I am hoping that the first week is a good indicator of how the next 6 months are going to go.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Loopy Lupron Day 1
So today I go into menopause. I think my dr. would say..."it isn't menopause we are just lowering your estrogen to the level of menopause"...and I would say..."So what is the difference????" The injection was given in my left hip. So far nothing that I can feel...which is good. Hope that it stays that way for the next 6 months. The injection is time release shot for 3 months and then I have another one September 14th. Doesn't seem like that is 3 months from now but I guess it is 12 weeks from today.
The doctor also did a bone density test today and my bone density is very good. Which is good because one of the side effects of lupron is lowering of bone density, but since mine is very good to begin with lowering it should not be too drastic.
I came home and took a nap. The stress of starting this whole process is tiring. When I woke up Nathan and I went for a walk with the dogs. I haven't been able to do much since the surgery, but I felt like I wanted to get out and walk and I am glad that i did. We walked the dogs slowly but surely down to the park and around the walking track and let them get in the river to cool off. We ended up walking for 1.5 hours, which may be a little much. I am hoping it will help me sleep better and it is the first step, even though a baby step, to training for a marathon. I am starting my training on July 22 which is 6 weeks after my surgery...I am actually looking forward to it.
The doctor also did a bone density test today and my bone density is very good. Which is good because one of the side effects of lupron is lowering of bone density, but since mine is very good to begin with lowering it should not be too drastic.
I came home and took a nap. The stress of starting this whole process is tiring. When I woke up Nathan and I went for a walk with the dogs. I haven't been able to do much since the surgery, but I felt like I wanted to get out and walk and I am glad that i did. We walked the dogs slowly but surely down to the park and around the walking track and let them get in the river to cool off. We ended up walking for 1.5 hours, which may be a little much. I am hoping it will help me sleep better and it is the first step, even though a baby step, to training for a marathon. I am starting my training on July 22 which is 6 weeks after my surgery...I am actually looking forward to it.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
More than I thought
The more women I talk to, the less scary this whole process becomes. I am still sad about having to wait a year to ttc but I know that this may be what I need to get things healthy and be able to conceive when the therapy is over. The women that I have talked to say the worst part is the hot flashes and mood changes. I can deal with that if it means that we will have a better chance at having a child. I have spoken to 4 women that have been on the therapy and they all said the benefits out way the side effects...and you just have to keep thinking about the reason you are doing this...to bring a new life into this world.
I got my bloodwork done yesterday...progesterone, estrodial, and hcg. I picked up the lupron injection on Thursday, it is the 3 month injection 11.25mg. I am kind of nervous about having the 3 month because the drug will be in my system for 3 months and not month to month. I wish I would have known about the month to month when I was in the dr's office so I could have asked about it. Since this shot is $1700.00 I don't think my insurance will allow me to change my mind now. I will just have to be vigilant about my symptoms so they don't reach anything severe.
I have also started my vitamin D booster. Took the first one on Thursday and I am taking calcium and pre-natals...so if my levels don't go up I there most be something crazy wrong.
I have decided I am going to train for the Shamrock Marathon that will be March 2010. Part of this getting my health in order is going to include getting my fitness back. I think the running will keep my spirits up also, runner's high might be able to counteract the lows of the therapy. I have to wait 6 weeks from the time of my surgery to start running again so the training will start July 22. I am going to make a training schedule and I might be able to convince a friend to join me. My brother has already signed up for the marathon so it will be a family affair at least.
I am going to work on my chair today that I am re-doing with the help of my mom and Nathan. About a year again a neighbor that is redoing there old home put two old chairs out on their porch and I asked if they were trying to get rid of them and they said yes...so I took them. I tore apart the chairs down to their wood skeletons when I got the chairs and they have been sitting on our side porch since then. Well my mom and I finally decided to get them done and we are on our way.
I got my bloodwork done yesterday...progesterone, estrodial, and hcg. I picked up the lupron injection on Thursday, it is the 3 month injection 11.25mg. I am kind of nervous about having the 3 month because the drug will be in my system for 3 months and not month to month. I wish I would have known about the month to month when I was in the dr's office so I could have asked about it. Since this shot is $1700.00 I don't think my insurance will allow me to change my mind now. I will just have to be vigilant about my symptoms so they don't reach anything severe.
I have also started my vitamin D booster. Took the first one on Thursday and I am taking calcium and pre-natals...so if my levels don't go up I there most be something crazy wrong.
I have decided I am going to train for the Shamrock Marathon that will be March 2010. Part of this getting my health in order is going to include getting my fitness back. I think the running will keep my spirits up also, runner's high might be able to counteract the lows of the therapy. I have to wait 6 weeks from the time of my surgery to start running again so the training will start July 22. I am going to make a training schedule and I might be able to convince a friend to join me. My brother has already signed up for the marathon so it will be a family affair at least.
I am going to work on my chair today that I am re-doing with the help of my mom and Nathan. About a year again a neighbor that is redoing there old home put two old chairs out on their porch and I asked if they were trying to get rid of them and they said yes...so I took them. I tore apart the chairs down to their wood skeletons when I got the chairs and they have been sitting on our side porch since then. Well my mom and I finally decided to get them done and we are on our way.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Prognosis IF
Yesterday was the post surgery appointment with my gyn. I was anxious about the appointment and really wanted to know what he had found, what he did during the surgery, and the plan for getting us pregnant.
I first went back into the office by myself because we weren't sure what was going to be done and Nathan wasn't sure if he wanted to be there if there was anything gyn-like. The nurse had me remove the tape over the incisions, which included one through my belly button and two very small ones just below the bikini line. The dr came in and looked over my incisions and said everything looked fine and just not to pick or prod on them...not a problem, I want them to heal.
The dr then had the nurse go out and get Nathan and I am sure glad they did. The doctor first went through all the pictures of the surgery from the video that was taken through my belly and in my uterus. I got to see my stomach, liver, pancreas, intestine large and small. In those pics he showed us the outside of my uterus and both ovaries. Endometrial tissue was on the outside of my uterus and both ovaries. He was able to laser off the scarred tissue. He also showed me the mass that was over my right ovary. The mass was a fibroid tumor about 3x the size of my ovary. The tumor was resting on my right ovary, so they removed the tumor and extracted it through my belly button. Nathan and I were really surprised about the size of the tumor. He then showed inside the uterus where there were 3 other fibroid tumors. These tumor were in the uterus and were not blocking the cervix, womb, or fallopian tubes so he did not remove them. He also removed some endometriosis in the uterus.
My vitamin D bloodwork showed a level of 16...normal is 32 to 100...50 is good. So I am very low. Vitamin D deficiency is linked to infertility and endometriosis.
So what does this all mean...well the dr prescribe vitamin D boosters for 10 weeks that will hopefully get my levels where they should be. I also have to take calcium supplements and continue with my prenatal vitamins. The dr also wants to do a round of Lupron Depot Therapy. This drug is prescribed to lower estrogen levels to premenopausal state to shrink fibroids and endometriosis. Endometriosis and fibroids are in essence fed by estrogen. This is a 6 month therapy with 3 injections. At this time I will not be able to conceive and will possibly stop having my period. After the therapy the body takes between 1 to 3 months to get back on cycle. The side effects of this therapy are hot flashes, mood swings, depression, loss of sex drive, vaginal dryness...in general as if you are going through a rough menopause. I have read other symptoms but those are the ones that are on the drug fact sheet.
This news was quite a shock and I was not prepared for it at all. I actually started crying right there in the dr's office. The thought of having to put off conceiving for another year is heartbreaking. I know that women have gone even longer, but I have so many what if's in my mind I don't even know where to start. I am unsure about the therapy but my dr put it this way...1 out of 3 women with endo are infertile, 2 out of 3 have miscarriages...if you do not do the therapy and do conceive and have a miscarriage you may look back and think why didn't I do the therapy when I knew that m/c was a possibility...also what if we do not do the therapy and try for another year and still do not conceive are we back to where we started with more endo coming back and even perhaps more fibroids or growing fibroids. But there is the flipside that gets me all upset...what if we don't do the therapy start ttc again and get pregnant and everything is fine...why can't we see into the future...I could go through this and still not conceive.
I was so upset last nite and it seemed that I couldn't find anything good about lupron on the internet...but I do realize that most people who post things on the web have bad experiences. I did not upset with Nathan because he seemed to be concerned about the low sex drive thing...I mean here I am being told I have fertility issues and Nathan was worried about having sex. I did express my concern to him and once he realized how upset this was making me he apologized. This is going to be the first hurdle in our married life that is going to go on just between the two of us. It isn't something you can plan for and you can't even plan for what the therapy may do.
Silver linings: Here are some silver linings for waiting a year before ttc:
I first went back into the office by myself because we weren't sure what was going to be done and Nathan wasn't sure if he wanted to be there if there was anything gyn-like. The nurse had me remove the tape over the incisions, which included one through my belly button and two very small ones just below the bikini line. The dr came in and looked over my incisions and said everything looked fine and just not to pick or prod on them...not a problem, I want them to heal.
The dr then had the nurse go out and get Nathan and I am sure glad they did. The doctor first went through all the pictures of the surgery from the video that was taken through my belly and in my uterus. I got to see my stomach, liver, pancreas, intestine large and small. In those pics he showed us the outside of my uterus and both ovaries. Endometrial tissue was on the outside of my uterus and both ovaries. He was able to laser off the scarred tissue. He also showed me the mass that was over my right ovary. The mass was a fibroid tumor about 3x the size of my ovary. The tumor was resting on my right ovary, so they removed the tumor and extracted it through my belly button. Nathan and I were really surprised about the size of the tumor. He then showed inside the uterus where there were 3 other fibroid tumors. These tumor were in the uterus and were not blocking the cervix, womb, or fallopian tubes so he did not remove them. He also removed some endometriosis in the uterus.
My vitamin D bloodwork showed a level of 16...normal is 32 to 100...50 is good. So I am very low. Vitamin D deficiency is linked to infertility and endometriosis.
So what does this all mean...well the dr prescribe vitamin D boosters for 10 weeks that will hopefully get my levels where they should be. I also have to take calcium supplements and continue with my prenatal vitamins. The dr also wants to do a round of Lupron Depot Therapy. This drug is prescribed to lower estrogen levels to premenopausal state to shrink fibroids and endometriosis. Endometriosis and fibroids are in essence fed by estrogen. This is a 6 month therapy with 3 injections. At this time I will not be able to conceive and will possibly stop having my period. After the therapy the body takes between 1 to 3 months to get back on cycle. The side effects of this therapy are hot flashes, mood swings, depression, loss of sex drive, vaginal dryness...in general as if you are going through a rough menopause. I have read other symptoms but those are the ones that are on the drug fact sheet.
This news was quite a shock and I was not prepared for it at all. I actually started crying right there in the dr's office. The thought of having to put off conceiving for another year is heartbreaking. I know that women have gone even longer, but I have so many what if's in my mind I don't even know where to start. I am unsure about the therapy but my dr put it this way...1 out of 3 women with endo are infertile, 2 out of 3 have miscarriages...if you do not do the therapy and do conceive and have a miscarriage you may look back and think why didn't I do the therapy when I knew that m/c was a possibility...also what if we do not do the therapy and try for another year and still do not conceive are we back to where we started with more endo coming back and even perhaps more fibroids or growing fibroids. But there is the flipside that gets me all upset...what if we don't do the therapy start ttc again and get pregnant and everything is fine...why can't we see into the future...I could go through this and still not conceive.
I was so upset last nite and it seemed that I couldn't find anything good about lupron on the internet...but I do realize that most people who post things on the web have bad experiences. I did not upset with Nathan because he seemed to be concerned about the low sex drive thing...I mean here I am being told I have fertility issues and Nathan was worried about having sex. I did express my concern to him and once he realized how upset this was making me he apologized. This is going to be the first hurdle in our married life that is going to go on just between the two of us. It isn't something you can plan for and you can't even plan for what the therapy may do.
Silver linings: Here are some silver linings for waiting a year before ttc:
- Nathan will be done with school and have a full-time job by the time our little one is born
- We can work on our house and get it done before bringing in a new life
- I can get back into shape and get healthy and fit again before getting pregnant to be able to pass on a healthy life style
I am trying to grasp-on to the silver linings. I am still young enough that waiting a year will be ok. I am worried about the side effects of therapy and of course our ability to conceive. I am going to post my feelings and thoughts through this process in hopes that it will help someone else going through the same thing and of course help me.
Endo surgery
The weather last nite reminded me of camping. It just seems that whenever we go camping it storms. Nathan was at work so I was huddled in bed with the dogs, Jackson and Cash. We are able to keep out windows open because we have old aluminum awnings that keep the rain out. They may be ugly but they at least serve a function.
So my surgery was on June 9, 2009. I was actually very excited about having the surgery...thinking that it was going to be a cleaning procedure so that we could get back to ttc and actually conceive. The procedure started at 7:30am and I was in post-op by 10:30, eating a rootbeer popsicle. I was worried about the anesthesia because I often experience nausa. The took me up to recovery and Nathan was there to meet me. The doctor had spoken to Nathan,, but he didn't catch everything that he said and the details were sketchy. We stayed in recovery until 2ish and then I was allowed to go home and thank goodness. The ride home was the worst part of the experience. I was extremely motion sick and just wanted to get home. I spent 3 days on the couch...Nathan was a big help. The pain wasn't nearly as bad as I had heard it could be. My doctor called on Wednesday and wanted me to go in and get blood work for vitamin D. My second attempt to give blood was on Friday morning, my dad drove me into Cumberland.
I was up and moving about by Friday with just moderate soreness and pain when I moved a certain way, sneezed, or coughed.
So my surgery was on June 9, 2009. I was actually very excited about having the surgery...thinking that it was going to be a cleaning procedure so that we could get back to ttc and actually conceive. The procedure started at 7:30am and I was in post-op by 10:30, eating a rootbeer popsicle. I was worried about the anesthesia because I often experience nausa. The took me up to recovery and Nathan was there to meet me. The doctor had spoken to Nathan,, but he didn't catch everything that he said and the details were sketchy. We stayed in recovery until 2ish and then I was allowed to go home and thank goodness. The ride home was the worst part of the experience. I was extremely motion sick and just wanted to get home. I spent 3 days on the couch...Nathan was a big help. The pain wasn't nearly as bad as I had heard it could be. My doctor called on Wednesday and wanted me to go in and get blood work for vitamin D. My second attempt to give blood was on Friday morning, my dad drove me into Cumberland.
I was up and moving about by Friday with just moderate soreness and pain when I moved a certain way, sneezed, or coughed.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Virgin Blogger
This is my first entry so lets see how this goes. I was sitting watch a Civil documentary today with my summer Upward Bound students and it actually made me want to start a blog. Why? Well because most of the information we have from our history is written accounts from regular people. Journals, diaries, and letters, that have opened the past up. So I want to stake my claim in history and write down my accounts of my life. This may not be as interesting as the Civil War, but it sure is getting more interesting by the moment and maybe my accounts will open eyes or hearts or who knows...
I also want to do this as a way to write an account of our journey from two to three or four or... well you get the picture. This process of trying to conceive (ttc) has been eye opening to say the least. I will venture into some background and get into more detail a little later...My husband (DH) and I got married September 6, 2008. We had been ttc since that July 2008 just kind of taking our chance and seeing what happened. By October 2008 since 3 cycles and no luck I decided to seek out some knowledge and commiseration. I found TheBump and fell way hard into TTC. I began charting basal body temperature and other fertility signs. 6 cycles go by and I have my annual gyn appointment. I had to switch doctors due to my old doctor leaving or losing her practice. I am not sure which one and I am not sure I want to know. One of my girlfriends recommended a gyn that was aggressive and had been very helpful for her so I decided to go with that dr.
My annual turned into one of the most stressful appointments I have even had. I was so overwhelmed when I left the appointment. So many questions that I didn't even know which ones to ask. My gyn had found by internal ultrasound 3 masses in my uterus and one either on or in my right ovary. He was also concerned with my severe cramps and our inability to conceive. So he scheduled a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, cytoscopy, and D&C. These procedures were to diagnose endometriosis and fibroid tumors. The surgery was scheduled for June 9, 2008.
The thunder and lightning is shutting me down for the nite...catcha later
I also want to do this as a way to write an account of our journey from two to three or four or... well you get the picture. This process of trying to conceive (ttc) has been eye opening to say the least. I will venture into some background and get into more detail a little later...My husband (DH) and I got married September 6, 2008. We had been ttc since that July 2008 just kind of taking our chance and seeing what happened. By October 2008 since 3 cycles and no luck I decided to seek out some knowledge and commiseration. I found TheBump and fell way hard into TTC. I began charting basal body temperature and other fertility signs. 6 cycles go by and I have my annual gyn appointment. I had to switch doctors due to my old doctor leaving or losing her practice. I am not sure which one and I am not sure I want to know. One of my girlfriends recommended a gyn that was aggressive and had been very helpful for her so I decided to go with that dr.
My annual turned into one of the most stressful appointments I have even had. I was so overwhelmed when I left the appointment. So many questions that I didn't even know which ones to ask. My gyn had found by internal ultrasound 3 masses in my uterus and one either on or in my right ovary. He was also concerned with my severe cramps and our inability to conceive. So he scheduled a laparoscopy, hysteroscopy, cytoscopy, and D&C. These procedures were to diagnose endometriosis and fibroid tumors. The surgery was scheduled for June 9, 2008.
The thunder and lightning is shutting me down for the nite...catcha later
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