About time

I decided to sit down this morning and update my blog, that I have been neglecting for a while. I would say it is because of time, but that is an awful excuse to use that I have been using for a lot of things lately including the state of our house, the state of my body, and the state of my classroom. At least the state of my marriage is going great...Nathan and I have a way of wasting time together. But I love cuddling on the couch with my Natedogg, except it would be nice to cuddle on the couch in a clean, renovated house, with a healthy body and not worrying about all the grading and things I have to do at school. So in order to be in a better place, I have decided to start my New Years Resolution a little early...the great majority of the cookies are out of the house so that is one step closer to a healthy body. We are working on the dining room over break. That is our Christmas gift to each other. So there is one step closer to a house that is not a renovation zone. Laundry is washing and the kitchen is clean so there is one step closer to a clean house.

I am excited about starting a new year. It has been 27 weeks since I got my first lupron shot so it should be wearing off in the next 2 months...I hope so. It seems to be cycling through because some days I will be hot flash free and sleep through the night, other days, like the last week I am still waking up sweating and hot as hell. It is a suffocating heat...now I can empathsize with all women going through menopause...it is an awful feeling. I have been very emotional lately also so that leads me to believe that my hormones are trying to get started up again. Funny how I spent a year wishing that I would not get my period, and now I can't wait until it starts again, so we officially start trying again and get on with whatever is going to happen.

It does seem that everyone around me is having babies. My siser-in-law is pregnant with twins. I am very excited about being an aunt again. She seems to be very cautious about what she says about being pregnant around me which is empathic of her and my brother. I am envious of their situation,but I am more happy for them. On the other hand, a teacher at work is pregnant and often uses the line "you just need to relax and it will happen" That line just makes me want to scream. No matter how much I relax...it may not happen. I have a disease that causes infertility, so no..no matter how much I relax it may not happen. So when I came home last week from school I was in a poopy mood. It is hard to listen to pregnancy talk all day from someone who is not in a healthly relationship and oh it just happened. I am really trying to be happy for her, however she has a lot of struggles ahead of her and I hope and pray that things work out for the best for her and her child.

One of our friends is also expecting. I am excited about also, because they are such great people and will be awesome parents. They are a bit unconventional and I can't wait to watch them raise their children, it will be awesome.

We have been talking about adoption, but I know that if I am unable to get pregnant it will be hard to get through it, until I am actually holding our child in my arms, rather I give birth to a baby or not.

We broke down and brought a treadmill. Not a fancy one, but one we could afford from Sears. We knew that either I had to join the gym again which is 25 miles away or something. So we did a little number crunching and with the deal we got from Sears it would be less expensive to buy a treadmill even if it only last a year than it would be to get the gym membership that I would have to drive 50 miles round trip too. I really don't know why I have never bought one. During my marathon training, the treadmill at the gym has always been the main reason I went to the gym. I am very excited about running again and getting in shape. I know that changing my eating habits is necessary also. I eat better and feel better when I am exercising. Everything should start clicking again when I can start running again. Hard to run outside with 2 feet of snow and ice on the roads and sidewalks. Treadmill is suppose to be here Jan. 7th...I can't wait.

Today I am going to head to Lowe's to get some more plaster and paint for our dining room table. Then, to work on the dining room and tonite I am going to do some scrap-booking. Amy and I did some cricuting yesterday...it was nice doing something with her. Hopefully in the future we will live closer to each other and then be able to grow closer in our relationship.